When two women have sex, it’s as beautiful, awkward, sexy, unique, and liberating as when any other kind of couple get it on. But while the world is full of info on what straight partners do in bed, there’s a lot false information out there about what goes on when two females get intimate. If you’ve never done it before (or if you just want to experiment with new positions, whether you’re straight, gay, bi, or identify any another way), it can seem a little daunting.
To clarify some misconceptions, provide sexy inspo, and remind you that good health means being fulfilled in bed—we asked a group of women to share their favorite positions for same-sex pleasure.
“My favorite sex position with a woman is called The Rocket: You straddle your partner's face, so that her mouth is right on your clitoris. You can stay stationary and let her do most of the work, or you can rock your body forwards and back to find the spots that feel best to you,” explains Rachel, 24. “I like that there’s a sense of control on my end because my clit is so sensitive. This position allows me to adjust the pressure I want."
Another woman, 23-year-old Mia, is also a fan. “Sitting on my partner's face while she masturbates or uses a vibrator on herself is my favorite. It turns me on because I can feel and see her getting turned on,” she says. “Plus, it’s the easier way for us to get off at the same time.” Mia suggests that the partner on top hold onto a bed frame or table for support, and the person on the bottom put a pillow under her neck. "Light sucking is good. Moving your tongue in gentle circles around your partner’s clit is good, too. If your partner likes it, flick your tongue back and forth,” she says.
When it comes to oral sex moves, 69 is at the top of the list. “For me, there’s no greater pleasure than making my wife feel really amazing," shares one 27-year-old. "And knowing she feels good heightens my own pleasure. Plus, you’re physically so close to one another. I can pull my partner close. I can hold her, cradle her. That’s also what makes it an incredibly intimate position."
Sari Cooper, founder and director of The Center for Love and Sex in New York City, adds: “While I caution couples not to view sex as an Olympic sport and set a goal of simultaneous orgasm, the 69 position may allow a couple to experience this." That said, pulling off 69 that's equally enjoyable for both partners isn't always easy. While, 69 is usually shown with a top and a bottom, try different configurations, including with you both lying on your sides, which may be more comfortable. “My partner and I switch positions, but because I find it difficult to orgasm when I’m on top, my partner usually takes that role,” the 27-year-old shares.
"It might sound cliche, but I really do prefer scissoring," one 23-year-old says of this classic lesbian sex position. Scissoring typically involves two people reclining on their sides and grinding their pelvises, legs tangled and swiveling. But despite how easy it may seem, IRL it’s little complicated. It can be awkward to maneuver into a position that feels good, especially when you have a different body type than your partner, or if neither of you is very flexible.
Plus, holding yourself in position as you rub against your partner requires some upper body strength. “It’s easy to do it poorly or for the position itself to not work. It takes work, it takes energy, it takes endurance. But when you’re with a partner who it works well with, it can be really intimate and pleasurable,” the 23-year-old says. “There’s just something about that direct genitalia contact that is so damn sexy." Remember, this is a more active position, so use lube; it’ll add a nice glide.
“I like the eye contact, the closeness, and intimacy that missionary provides," says Hanna, 28. "My favorite is to be on the bottom, and let my wife take control. But communicate with your partner, it can be fun to switch."
“Some may like to use a strap-on in this position, but the use of hands rather than a penis or toy is a wonderful way to get to know your partner's genitals, it’ll really allow you to learn what drives your partner wild from the inside, Cooper explains. If your partner prefers deeper penetration, try propping their hips up on a pillow, which will open them up to allow for deeper penetration.
Doggy style strap-on
“If I’m with a partner who enjoys being penetrated, I love to flip her over and enter her with my strap-on from behind,” says 26-year-old Alexa. Once you’re geared up, have your partner get on all fours, then kneel behind her. Slowly, grind your hips against her butt as your dildo teases her entrance. Finding a rhythm may take some time, but once you do, you can reach around and play with her clitoris or engage in nipple play.
“Whether it’s a one night stand or long-time partner, you just need to make sure that she’s comfortable with that position. Instead, communicate, make it sexy, whisper in her ear that you want to feel her back pressed against you, ask her if she’ll let you take her from behind,” Alexa says. “And remember, you can’t necessarily feel the toy that’s attached to you, so go gentler than you think you need, especially if you don’t want her to be too sore to play the rest of the night.”